Archive for the ‘My Gift to You’ Category

Pony Up

In My Gift to You, Thing of the Day, Uncategorized on March 21, 2009 at 7:12 pm
I heart this band.

I heart this band.

I love this band. There are a million quotable lyrics, but I’m sharing the ones below because I feel like it.

‘Cause I got a story that won’t leave my head
‘Bout a girl who can stomach whatever she’s fed
Are there any words harder than the ones we just said?

Pony Up myspace page


United States of Tara

In My Gift to You, Thing of the Day, Uncategorized on March 20, 2009 at 9:03 am

I like it. A lot.

I watched the first episode and was a little skeptical. First of all, I thought there was too much background information and explanation. It turns out, it just wasn’t set up as well as it could have been. For instance, I was thinking “why are they talking like that? Don’t they deal with this all the time?”

It wasn’t until later that they revealed Tara was going off her meds. Or maybe I missed something? Regardless, I didn’t get that we were seeing these alters for the first time and in some cases, so were the characters in the show. However, they were familiar with some of the alters, so this wasn’t consistent. Messy start, but it gets much better.

Anyway, my main problem (and solution) is that I don’t have a TV. I watched UST illegally online. If Showtime were smart, they’d figure out a way for those of us who want to watch TV exclusively online to somehow subscribe to them via the interwebs. Or even better, subscribe to individual shows. I don’t want to watch the shows I really love illegally, but I’m not going to buy a TV, so you need to catch up. However, keep in mind that I’m very broke. But very loyal. Feel free to contact me about us loyal TV-haters, but loyal TV-followers. I will charge you a consulting fee, but I have a ton of information for you.

And I want to bite John Corbett. Yum.

Be pretty for cheap

In My Gift to You, The Bright Side on March 1, 2009 at 8:45 pm

Like, really cheap.

So I’m not really into makeup, but as a long time acne sufferer, I absolutely will not leave the house without some sort of concealer or coverup. I was reaching that “never leave the house” end of my supply and I have to be honest, I wasn’t real sure what I was going to do about it because I am flat out broke.

Then I got this email from a friend and it turns out that even someone in my financial situation can afford Elf makeup (Eyes, Lips, Face).

I received the following email:

Nordstrom is changing the logo on their makeup, so they’re selling everything for $1!!!

The make-up line e.l.f.(eyes-lips-face) has been bought out by Nordstrom and will be re-packaged with the Nordstrom name on it. They are getting rid of the entire make up in ELF packaging. They are selling everything for $1. You do have to pay shipping. They have everything -powder, mascara, lipstick, a mineral line (100% natural), brushes & cases, nail polish, lotions, you name it -it’s there.

The website is :

When you check out there is a space for a coupon code. Use CAROLINA and save an additional $7.50 if your order is over $15.00.

Now, there are a few things that are not $1, contrary to the email, like the mineral line, but SERIOUSLY folks, everything else was $1. There were only a couple items out of stock. I just placed an order and thought, this can’t be true. It all rang up, a buck each as it said it would. And with $7.50 off when you enter the “Carolina” code.

I’m still thinking it’s got to be too good to be true. I’ve never tried this line of makeup before, but for this kinda price, what the heck. I can’t imagine this will last long, so if you’re interested, get on it.

Now I’m waiting to receive my order and see how they’re fooling me. Maybe it will be “elf-sized” and come in all one-time-use only amounts. Even if that did happen, it’s not a bad deal to try something new. And I’ll have a couple more days that I can leave the house.

Balls of Steel

In My Gift to You, Vanities on February 12, 2009 at 12:37 am
That guy's got balls of steel.

That guy's got balls of steel.

So the picture really doesn’t do these steel balls justice.

Now, I don’t know much about trailer hitches, but this doesn’t seem to be one of them. These steel balls may serve a purpose, but I have no clue what it would be. It really just looks like a steel ball sack (sac?) dangling from an SUV.

What the?

The Finger: the sequel

In My Gift to You, Thing of the Day on February 11, 2009 at 8:33 am
This mammoth means bizness.

This mammoth means bizness.

A couple weeks ago, I saw this.

I thought it was an elephant. But this one appears to be a woolly mammoth. It was a few miles from the elephant, but I’m pretty sure they hang in the same crowd.

Zombies and Drug Addicts, Beware!

In My Gift to You on February 10, 2009 at 8:39 am
That guy doesn't look so good...

That guy doesn't look so good...

First of all, this guy just doesn’t look good. He is either a zombie or he’s really tweaked out on something.

Second of all, are they saying that zombies who don’t want ice to pierce their skulls should hold their hands above their heads? Or is this depiction of the situation just too graphic to not put something underneath the icicle?

Weird. I love it.

Dick in a Box

In My Gift to You, Uncategorized on January 19, 2009 at 9:07 pm


So, obviously you know the song/video. Well, the year that brilliant little sonofagun was aired on SNL, I decided to give one of my friends the thing on everyone’s wishlist. Her very own birthday edition Dick in a Box.

I’m not going to lie: it was amazing. The best gift I’ve ever given. By far.

Well, the gift is back. As I was messing around with the website, I came across these pictures and I just knew it was meant to be. So, I give to you the Obamicanized Dick in a Box series.

I giggled like a school girl for hours after creating these. I think this may actually be my finest achievement to date.

Out with the old

In My Gift to You, The Bright Side, Uncategorized on January 17, 2009 at 12:48 am
Best poster ever.

Best poster ever.

I saw this in the window of a preschool.

Happy Cheerer-Upper

In My Gift to You, Thing of the Day on January 14, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Bartender, could I get a red labial on the rocks?

Bartender, could I get a red labial on the rocks?

Sometimes I’m having a bad day. Ok… lately all the time I’m having a bad day.


But on some of those days I remember something I’ve forgotten. Like the engrish website. And then that day becomes so much better.

I used my spare 45 minutes to look at engrish. I had totally forgotten about this website and I can say that now I have forgotten about the majority of the things that sucked today.

Do Me Now

In My Gift to You, Thing of the Day, Vanities on January 9, 2009 at 12:01 am

Wow. What else is there to say?

If only the owner of this car had been around when I saw this. With no one there, I was left to dry hump the bumper. What else was I to DO?

If only the owner of this car had been around when I saw this. With no one there, I was left to dry hump the bumper. What else was I to DO?