Archive for the ‘Politics and Other Nonsense’ Category

Read All About It

In Politics and Other Nonsense, Uncategorized on April 28, 2009 at 8:14 pm


To the dear, old newspaper,

Why do you feel you are in competition with the internet? Is it because, like American car manufacturers, you were unwilling to change when the consumers had moved beyond you? You aren’t elected officials. You are businesses. You are supposed to be ahead of us. You are supposed to move, at the very least, with our demands.

Newspaper. I just don’t get you. Who is calling your shots (besides the advertisers)? Why don’t you hire creative people who know business, interwebs, and marketing, and stop laying there like yesterday’s Zubaz?

Sometimes things go out of style. And if those companies thought they’d grow and grow forever and they’d never have to change a thing… well, those companies fail. Why? Because they’re stupid. You have to be flexible. Madonna’s not still cranking out her 80’s pop. She moved on. Because if you don’t, well, you become lots of people that I don’t remember the names of anymore.

Can’t you get more specific with your online ads? I don’t like that you’re run by ads, but I don’t want you to be run by the government either. I don’t know what to do with you!

Ok. Let’s say you had a great story and someone emailed it to me. When I click on the link, instead of making me fill out a bunch of bullshit, just have one question. Like, what’s my gender? I answer, you let me in to the article and people who wanted to advertise to me get to do so. Then, let’s say you’ve done a great job of suggesting other stories to me on your site. And I click on one. Then I have to answer another question. Like my age range. Or what I feel is the most pressing political issue. Or whether I’m a dog person or cat person.

I don’t care. The point is, make it simple for me, you, and your advertisers. The smarter you are with your site, the longer you keep me on it, the more money you make. And the more you can charge. If I really love you, I’ll follow you and you may be able to get more information from me. But if you’re going to be a jackass, well, I don’t owe you anything. If I’m stupid with my business, I fail. So I don’t really feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for me. And everyone else. Because we could really use journalism around here.

The great thing about this internet thing is that you can suggest your past articles to me, too. You currently can’t do this with your old papery ways. You can make money off of things you’ve ALREADY DONE. Or you can make a deal with a sister paper’s article. You have so many choices here.

So. Get off your lazy ass. The internet is a great opportunity for you. You’re missing it.


Someone who is apparently smarter than you

P.S. The interwebs are generally cheaper and less wasteful than your paper-ways. You should like that.

P.P.S. Bloggers are getting pretty strong followings. It’s because they’re changing and growing. They’re not still wearing Zubaz.


Laid Off

In Politics and Other Nonsense, Uncategorized on March 3, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Three more members of my family were laid off yesterday. It’s only Tuesday and my family isn’t all that big. They got one week’s notice (well, four working days, really). Next week, they don’t have jobs to go to.

At this rate, it looks like none of my family will have jobs by the end of next week.

Apocalypse? If you were thinking of coming any time soon, can you speed it up a little? I’d rather bite it quickly than starve to death or be eaten by other hungrier, more capitalist Americans.

Bobby Jindal inspired a new category: Hypocrite

In Hypocrite, Politics and Other Nonsense on March 2, 2009 at 10:57 pm

Oh, my. Here’s another one.

Bobby Jindal was making the rounds today. While I mostly agree that people should not be criticizing his speaking abilities and presentation, I disagree in a VERY big way that we should not be calling him a hypocrite. His claim that we’re bankrupting our country and our children’s ability to live a good life is definitely something I disagree with, specifically when he jumps right into wanting money for natural disasters.

I don’t disagree with him on providing funding for natural disasters, what I find amusing is that he doesn’t want to fund these things. He just wants the money to come from… where? And he doesn’t seem to want to prevent major fuck-ups, just throw money at them once they’ve already happened. How incredibly shortsighted. He specifically said that the government did not design and build the levees properly and “I think that is a simple concept: You break it. You buy it.”

So maybe we should provide some funding for infrastructure than, eh? Specifically, roads, bridges and levees? You know, those things that have created disasters lately? Like maybe head that shit up before it happens again?

I could say the same of just about anything that is happening today. Banks? Not regulated properly. You break it. You buy it.

Predatory lending? You break it. You buy it.

Overspending on a war that was lied about? You break it. You buy it.

Unfortunately, for you and me, the YOU in break it would be our elected officials and the YOU in buy it is… US.

Damn it Bobby. Now I have a new category and not nearly enough time on my hands to add to it. So many hypocrites, so little time.

Judd Gregg is a moron or How to be a Hypocrite Without Really Trying

In Politics and Other Nonsense on February 26, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Hi. Im Judd Gregg and I choose to ignore the previous 8 years.

Hi. I'm Judd Gregg and I choose to ignore the previous 8 years.

I would not call myself a democrat. I don’t really belong in that category, but usually end up there by default. I don’t like being labeled, but I imagine that most would label me as rabidly left. I don’t think that would be entirely accurate, but it wouldn’t be entirely inaccurate either.

So lately I’ve been trying very hard to understand all this partisan bullshit. I’ve been making a real effort to try and understand “the right.” I think our government is broken. I think this two party system is crap. I’m trying to understand why people are Republicans and I’ve been very genuine about it. I’ve tried exploring their concepts and philosophies and attempted to imagine what it could be like to hold those “values.”

However, I’ve found that it’s very hard to understand something that contains no logical reasoning, has no clear throughline, and flip flops depending on the direction of the wind that day.

Today I got angry. Angry that “fiscal conservatives” are all of a sudden promoting fiscal responsibility after eight long years of spend, spend, spend. Judd Gregg was talking about “bankrupting our federal government” and how we’re building the debt so that our children will not be able to afford it here and they will have a poor quality of life.

What I found to be absolutely hilarious was the fact that this should have been put forth by fiscal conservatives during the Bush war spending spree. This “bankrupting” of the American people is not on Obama’s head, it’s on their own heads. Why is it ok to bankrupt us in order to kill (war), but not ok to bankrupt us in order to preserve (healthcare)?

I’m going to continue my quest to try and understand how conservatives can be so incredibly hypocritical. Maybe I’m just missing something, but I doubt it. However, I do not want to dismiss 50% of the country. I just wish that there were smart conservatives to talk to about these issues. I cannot believe that people like Judd Gregg have jobs. He said so many things to promote a polarizing, fear mongering, divisive agenda that was clearly skewed, misguided and inaccurate at best. At worst? Actively hypocritical and ignorant of truth.

I don’t know what’s better: He knows that he’s bending the truth in order to gain support and divide the people or he actually believes what he says and is not capable of seeing the hypocrisy.

One is rather evil, really. And the other means he does not have the brains to be a politician who makes decisions on behalf of his constituency.

The latter would pretty much be on par for our government officials. I lost a lot of respect for our little democracy when Bush was in office. I shouldn’t be smarter than our President. I’d like it if people making decisions on behalf of our nation were more educated and knowledgeable than most of the population. I mean, we put all this responsibility on them because they’re supposed to be able to do that job better than the average citizen.

And yet, fiscal conservatives are crying about our debt AFTER they racked it up. And voted to do so. Just because they don’t like their new boss.

Fuck off, Judd Gregg. Fuck off.

P.S. Clinton handed GDub a surplus. This crazy ass debt we have did not happen by accident or overnight. Judd Gregg, you are aware of this, right? Ok. Just checking.