Posts Tagged ‘fail’

Bankruptcy: To be or not to be

In Uncategorized on August 31, 2009 at 3:29 pm

So. Lots has happened. Most for the worse… but that’s the usual, so I guess not much has happened, in a way.

Does anyone have legitimate experience with bankruptcy or financial difficulty? I’m finding it IMPOSSIBLE to figure all this crap out because there is a wealth of information, most irrelevant and nearly all spam. I am not at a point where I can pay for advice (who is when it comes to this?!) and especially when most of it is spam.

There’s gotta be REAL people out there who go through the same kinds of experience. So, where are you?

Obviously, this is a rather vague request, but I don’t know where to turn or who to divulge information to and I’m dying here. Have you dealt with financial difficulty? Where did you turn?



Read All About It

In Politics and Other Nonsense, Uncategorized on April 28, 2009 at 8:14 pm


To the dear, old newspaper,

Why do you feel you are in competition with the internet? Is it because, like American car manufacturers, you were unwilling to change when the consumers had moved beyond you? You aren’t elected officials. You are businesses. You are supposed to be ahead of us. You are supposed to move, at the very least, with our demands.

Newspaper. I just don’t get you. Who is calling your shots (besides the advertisers)? Why don’t you hire creative people who know business, interwebs, and marketing, and stop laying there like yesterday’s Zubaz?

Sometimes things go out of style. And if those companies thought they’d grow and grow forever and they’d never have to change a thing… well, those companies fail. Why? Because they’re stupid. You have to be flexible. Madonna’s not still cranking out her 80’s pop. She moved on. Because if you don’t, well, you become lots of people that I don’t remember the names of anymore.

Can’t you get more specific with your online ads? I don’t like that you’re run by ads, but I don’t want you to be run by the government either. I don’t know what to do with you!

Ok. Let’s say you had a great story and someone emailed it to me. When I click on the link, instead of making me fill out a bunch of bullshit, just have one question. Like, what’s my gender? I answer, you let me in to the article and people who wanted to advertise to me get to do so. Then, let’s say you’ve done a great job of suggesting other stories to me on your site. And I click on one. Then I have to answer another question. Like my age range. Or what I feel is the most pressing political issue. Or whether I’m a dog person or cat person.

I don’t care. The point is, make it simple for me, you, and your advertisers. The smarter you are with your site, the longer you keep me on it, the more money you make. And the more you can charge. If I really love you, I’ll follow you and you may be able to get more information from me. But if you’re going to be a jackass, well, I don’t owe you anything. If I’m stupid with my business, I fail. So I don’t really feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for me. And everyone else. Because we could really use journalism around here.

The great thing about this internet thing is that you can suggest your past articles to me, too. You currently can’t do this with your old papery ways. You can make money off of things you’ve ALREADY DONE. Or you can make a deal with a sister paper’s article. You have so many choices here.

So. Get off your lazy ass. The internet is a great opportunity for you. You’re missing it.


Someone who is apparently smarter than you

P.S. The interwebs are generally cheaper and less wasteful than your paper-ways. You should like that.

P.P.S. Bloggers are getting pretty strong followings. It’s because they’re changing and growing. They’re not still wearing Zubaz.

Laid Off

In Politics and Other Nonsense, Uncategorized on March 3, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Three more members of my family were laid off yesterday. It’s only Tuesday and my family isn’t all that big. They got one week’s notice (well, four working days, really). Next week, they don’t have jobs to go to.

At this rate, it looks like none of my family will have jobs by the end of next week.

Apocalypse? If you were thinking of coming any time soon, can you speed it up a little? I’d rather bite it quickly than starve to death or be eaten by other hungrier, more capitalist Americans.

Batman Defeated in Snowy Alley

In Alley Finds, Uncategorized on February 9, 2009 at 9:13 pm


Is it better if the bat signal burns out or fades away?

Is it better if the bat signal burns out or fades away?

If you’ve ever wondered what it takes to defeat Batman (or any other super hero for that matter), I have the answer. A child’s lack of interest.

He’s a Cowboy, Baby

In Thing of the Day on January 23, 2009 at 9:08 pm
No caption necessary.

No caption necessary.

Ohhhhh. I didn’t know he was on the ranch herding cattle! That explains everything.

Hey guys– he was just on the ranch, herding cattle.

And I thought he was on the phone, selling a senate seat. My bad.

2 out of 3 ain’t bad

In The Bright Side, Uncategorized on January 14, 2009 at 7:27 pm

Only one of my three checking accounts is overdrawn.

That’s pretty good, right?

Do Me Now

In My Gift to You, Thing of the Day, Vanities on January 9, 2009 at 12:01 am

Wow. What else is there to say?

If only the owner of this car had been around when I saw this. With no one there, I was left to dry hump the bumper. What else was I to DO?

If only the owner of this car had been around when I saw this. With no one there, I was left to dry hump the bumper. What else was I to DO?


In Uncategorized on January 8, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Linds. Sporting my look.

Linds. Sporting my look.

I no longer own any pants that don’t have holes in them. This is not a choice. It’s not hip. I am one broke muthashutyourmouth. Just talkin’ bout cash.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t be dressing like Preppy McPrepperson the third even if the opportunity presented itself. Well, maybe I’d occasionally sport a school girl’s uniform. Just for fun.

It’d just be nice to have options.

Should I wear the ripped jeans today or not? Crotchless pants or not?

It’s damn cold out today. Crotchful pants would be nice.