Posts Tagged ‘high school’

Brenda and Dylan Reduction

In Uncategorized on January 9, 2009 at 6:22 pm
I dont remember that guy on the right. Who the eff is that?!

I don't remember that guy on the right. Who the eff is that?!

So today I found myself on the wrong side of a high school that had just let its people go. Friday afternoon. Perhaps the worst time ever to have to make my way through the campus. My destination was directly on the other side and the entire area was full of demons.

After being verbally abused for no apparent reason (which I ignored, though it was hard), I was right in the thick of it. About half way until freedom. Then I heard one of the lankies yelling at one of the mini-hipster girls.

Lanky: “Are you through your first trimester yet? How’s your fetus?”

Mini-Hipster Girl: “Oh yeah, it’s real funny.”

Lanky: “Can I plasticize your fetus and wear it around my neck?”

Mini-Hipster Girl: “Sure.” Walks away.

By the end of that beautiful exchange I was in the midst of the 14-year-old smoking club. They were just over the hill. One of their surgeon general friends yelled a warning as he walked away. “Every time you smoke a cigarette, three people lose their Swiss bank accounts!”

I’m not sure what any of this means. I think they’re speaking in tongues.

At least I could understand Brenda and Dylan. These new things they call high schoolers… well, frankly, they scare me. Forget don’t go out after dark. Don’t go out between the hours of 2:30pm-4pm.

I’m going to start carrying holy water.