suicidalentrepreneur

Posts Tagged ‘laziness’

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In Politics and Other Nonsense, Uncategorized on April 28, 2009 at 8:14 pm
SWEET

SWEET

To the dear, old newspaper,

Why do you feel you are in competition with the internet? Is it because, like American car manufacturers, you were unwilling to change when the consumers had moved beyond you? You aren’t elected officials. You are businesses. You are supposed to be ahead of us. You are supposed to move, at the very least, with our demands.

Newspaper. I just don’t get you. Who is calling your shots (besides the advertisers)? Why don’t you hire creative people who know business, interwebs, and marketing, and stop laying there like yesterday’s Zubaz?

Sometimes things go out of style. And if those companies thought they’d grow and grow forever and they’d never have to change a thing… well, those companies fail. Why? Because they’re stupid. You have to be flexible. Madonna’s not still cranking out her 80’s pop. She moved on. Because if you don’t, well, you become lots of people that I don’t remember the names of anymore.

Can’t you get more specific with your online ads? I don’t like that you’re run by ads, but I don’t want you to be run by the government either. I don’t know what to do with you!

Ok. Let’s say you had a great story and someone emailed it to me. When I click on the link, instead of making me fill out a bunch of bullshit, just have one question. Like, what’s my gender? I answer, you let me in to the article and people who wanted to advertise to me get to do so. Then, let’s say you’ve done a great job of suggesting other stories to me on your site. And I click on one. Then I have to answer another question. Like my age range. Or what I feel is the most pressing political issue. Or whether I’m a dog person or cat person.

I don’t care. The point is, make it simple for me, you, and your advertisers. The smarter you are with your site, the longer you keep me on it, the more money you make. And the more you can charge. If I really love you, I’ll follow you and you may be able to get more information from me. But if you’re going to be a jackass, well, I don’t owe you anything. If I’m stupid with my business, I fail. So I don’t really feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for me. And everyone else. Because we could really use journalism around here.

The great thing about this internet thing is that you can suggest your past articles to me, too. You currently can’t do this with your old papery ways. You can make money off of things you’ve ALREADY DONE. Or you can make a deal with a sister paper’s article. You have so many choices here.

So. Get off your lazy ass. The internet is a great opportunity for you. You’re missing it.

Sincerely,

Someone who is apparently smarter than you

P.S. The interwebs are generally cheaper and less wasteful than your paper-ways. You should like that.

P.P.S. Bloggers are getting pretty strong followings. It’s because they’re changing and growing. They’re not still wearing Zubaz.